Complicated Anatomy of a Liar
by Carlier36
Summary: When a Mr. Nathan Baker collapses on a Princeton sidewalk, he winds up in the hospital under care of Dr. House. House is less interested in his health, however, than as in his family.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Leverage or House, M.D. nor am I associated with Dean Devlin, David Shore, the cast of Leverage or the cast of House. No copyright infringement is intended.  
A/N: This was written for the Leverage hiatus fic exchange at Livejournal and based on a prompt involving House and Eliot/Parker.

**Prologue**

Sophie walked a bit unsteadily into the crosswalk, new heels and a growing migraine pinching into her consciousness. Without warning, she fell, wobbling as she reached out for the nearest person's arm. A sweet-looking blond caught her, startled, but quick on her feet.

"Are you all right?" she asked anxiously, helping Sophie regain her balance.

Sophie nodded, but bit her lip. "Yes, thank you. I think I just… twisted my ankle or something."

The young woman, who appeared much more world-weary upon closer inspection, nodded. "Here, let's get out of the crosswalk and then I can bandage that up for you." At Sophie's inquiring look as she hobbled along, the blond tacked on, "I'm a doctor; I work at Princeton-Plainsboro."

As they emerged onto the sidewalk, Sophie extended her hand. "Angela Bening."

"Allison Cameron," the woman returned, shaking her hand with a pleasant smile. "Why don't you just sit down on that bench? I never go anywhere unprepared," she chuckled, holding up the tote bag slung over her shoulder.

Sophie took a rather uncomfortable seat on the aforementioned bench, gingerly pulling her shoe off. "Lucky I tripped over a doctor."

Cameron laughed, pulling out a small rolled up Ace bandage and dropping to her knees in front of the bench. "I attract it, some sort of cosmic pull," she joked.

Sophie opened her mouth to reply but her phone buzzed in her purse. Unzipping it, she pulled out the cell, answering it without even needing to glance at the number to know who it was. "Hi Nate. Mhmm. No, no… Oh for heavens' sake, you're ridiculous. I'm fine!" Glancing up, she saw him standing on the other side of the street. "Is it really too much to just _cross _the street instead of watching me from _waaay _over there?"

Nate shot her a dirty look as he punched the light but darted out into the crosswalk without waiting for it to change. Cameron shook her head. "Boyfriend?"

"Something like that." Sophie rolled her eyes, hanging up the phone as Nate swung around a lamppost. "Thank you so much," she thanked the pretty, young doctor genuinely. "A real Samaritan."

Cameron shrugged. "Nothing, really. Just be sure you get some ice on that ankle as soon as you can."

Sophie started to nod but looked up sharply as Nate crumpled to the brick sidewalk, eyes rolling back in his head. "Nate!" she cried, jumping to her feet even as pain shot up her shin. Cameron rushed to his side, expert eyes quickly taking in the numerous beads of sweat standing out on his forehead and around his collar, despite the chilly February weather, and her fingers on his pulse calculating an elevated rate far beyond a quick jog across the street.

"This man needs a hospital," she declared, whipping out her cell phone to dial an ambulance.


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Leverage or House, M.D. nor am I associated with Dean Devlin, David Shore, the cast of Leverage or the cast of House. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 1**

A file landed on House's desk with a slap that startled him, annoyed, from his tiny television. "You don't work here anymore. Get out," he barked at Cameron. She ignored him, simply tapping a finger against the manila folder.

"You'll like this one…" she sing-songed.

House sighed dramatically, popping a vicodin in his mouth as he spun his chair around to pick up the file. Blue eyes scanned the page, uninterested. He heaved a sigh, raising an unimpressed eyebrow. "This is like reading the phone book. Could you have found me a less interesting case?"

"It's not the medicine that you'll like; it's the patient." Cameron flipped a stray bit of hair back over her shoulder. House shot her a mildly intrigued stare that beckoned for her to continue. "His name is Nathan Baker, girlfriend Angela Bening. And I worked for you long enough to know when someone is lying."

"They're lying about their names?"

"Oh, well, no, I don't know about _that_ but- Just trust me. These two ants are worth frying under your magnifying glass," Cameron assured him over her shoulder as she left him to reading the file.

---

Sophie paced nervously in the waiting room, back and forth, back and forth. Every few seconds she glanced at the clock, growing more and more anxious as time went on with no word. Finally, a nurse appeared in the doorway. "Miss Bening?"

Sophie spun around. "Yes?" she demanded, her voice an octave or two higher than usual.

"Mr. Baker is being transferred to our Diagnostics Department. Don't worry; he's in the hands of one of our very best doctors. Dr. House and his team will fix your boyfriend right up," the nurse told her, but the subtle cringe in her words worried someone as perceptive as Sophie. _Was he not really the best doctor? Was Nate not really going to be okay? What was the lie?_

"What's wrong with him? I thought it was just dehydration!" Sophie exclaimed, knotting her hands together.

"We don't know yet, Miss Bening. You'll have to talk to Dr. House or his team. Their office is on the third floor." The nurse walked away, obviously unconcerned with Sophie and her concerns.

Sophie sighed in exasperation. "Oh that's just fantastic," she grumbled, pulling out her cell phone as she headed for the elevator. Dialing the number of the hotel the team was staying at, she punched in '3' on the elevator and held the phone to her ear.

"Where _are _you guys? You were supposed to be back here 45 minutes ago!" Eliot answered the phone, obviously having checked caller id.

Sophie sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't call sooner. Nate's in the hospital. I thought it wasn't anything serious."

"Hang on, speaker phone," Eliot said. There was a beep followed by rustling static. "All right, _what_?"

"Nate's in the hospital. Princeton-Plainsboro, I think it is. He just collapsed in the middle of the sidewalk! They rushed him to the emergency room, thinking dehydration or something, you know, but now I'm told he's being transferred to the _Diagnostics Department_. And I _know_ the nurse was lying about _something._"

"Lying about what?" Hardison asked from the background.

"That's just it; I don't have the faintest idea. She looked, well, _pained_ when she was talking about Nate's doctor. Maybe I'm just paranoid," Sophie admitted as the doors slid open. She walked purposely down the hallway, searching for a door labeled 'Dr. House.' "I'm going to talk to the doctors, find out what's going on."

"Sure. We'll be there soon," Parker piped up. A click followed her words and Sophie hung up, taking a deep breath.

Pushing open the glass door etched with _Dr. Gregory House_, she stepped inside. "Which one of you is Dr. House?" she directed to the four lab coat-draped occupants.

They all turned to her, eyebrows raised. The oldest, a tall, graying man with sparkling blue eyes pointed to a black man, but all the others pointed to him. She took majority and turned toward him, extending a hand. "I'm Angela Bening, your patient's girlfriend. I want to know what's going on. I was told Nate was dehydrated and now he's being transferred to a department?"

A brunette woman spoke up. "We don't know yet. Dr. Cameron suggested the case to House; when he was admitted to the emergency room, his fluid levels were all fine."

"We'll keep you updated, Ms. Bening," a short, balding man promised, barely glancing at her.

"And why don't I believe you?"

House raised his eyebrows. "Because you're a sharp stiletto. Go read InStyle in the waiting room. Or, better yet, go sex up my boss in her office."

Sophie blinked but didn't react any way he might have thought. "No." All four doctors looked up at her, eyes wide. "I want to know what's going on. And I want to see Nate!"

"Tell me. Are you a medical doctor?" House asked a bit snidely, uncapping his vicodin bottle.

Sophie leaned back to survey him, from the rubber tip of his flamed cane to the piercing blue eyes she guessed could cut through a lot of lies. Finally, she turned to the others. "Tell _me._ Who's he scared of?"

"Nobody. Everybody's scared of him," the brunette said ruefully, reaching for her coffee, but the black man at the end of the table shook his head. "Cuddy."

"Cuddy?"

"His boss."

Sophie smiled, tapping a finger against the leather purse strap slung over her shoulder. "Oh, the one he's imagining me in jello with right now?"

House nodded, pushing himself up out of his chair to get some coffee. "That's the one. But I'm not _scared _of her."

"Maybe not," Sophie admitted, shrugging, "But there's one thing I know about hospitals: high-paying donors, they're important. So I figure if I put in five, six hundred-thousand dollars, suddenly, I'm important." She walked out of the office with a decidedly more purposeful step in her pumps.

After a beat, Thirteen, the brunette, glanced at Foreman. "Did she just say_ five_ or _six hundred-thousand dollars_?"

"Yes. Yes, she did," House murmured, looking after her stunned. "Cameron was right. They're lying about something."

"All she told us was she's rich," Taub protested. "And if she's lying about that then it was just a stupid bluff and she's not as smart as she looks."

"Oh she's as smart as she looks. She's way smarter than she looks." House stared at the door Sophie had left through, the gears turning madly in his mind as he ran through everything she had said – and everything she hadn't.

Finally, he turned back to his waiting team. "So? What does he have?"

They barely stuttered at the quick change, each rattling off a possibility. "Hypertension." "Tachycardia." "Anxiety disorder."

House reached for another vicodin. "They would have caught tachycardia in the ER and if he had an anxiety disorder they wouldn't have sent him to me. Test for hypertension."

Taub looked put out at being shot down. "But they sent him to you because they don't know _what_ he has so it could be anxiety." House only glared, limping into his office.

---

"I'm not _looking _for a patient. I'm looking for his _girlfriend_!" Sophie could hear Eliot growling from halfway across the hospital. Hurrying down the hall passed her intended destination of Dr. Cuddy's office, she tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey, hey, hey! I'm here!" Eliot spun around, immediately wrapping her in a tight hug.

"Are you okay?" he demanded.

"I'm _fine_. He collapsed, is all, but they won't tell me anything. I was just about to go talk to the boss, a Dr. Cuddy, and donate some money, make us important," Sophie explained, patting his arm. "Where are the others?"

"Hardison's parking the car and Parker is… right here," Eliot answered as Parker appeared at his side.

"Can we see him?" the blond demanded.

Sophie took a deep breath. "I don't think so. They haven't let me in, yet." Quickly, she related her conversation with Dr. House and his team.

"You go talk to this Dr. Cuddy; we'll try to get in to see him," Eliot swore, kissing her cheek. Sophie nodded, breaking away.

---

Sophie knocked lightly on the glass of Cuddy's door, pushing it in. "Dr. Cuddy?"

Cuddy glanced up. "Yes, can I help you with something?"

"I certainly hope so. My name is Angela Bening. I'd like to make a donation to the hospital and I was told to speak with you," Sophie explained, stepping inside.

"Oh! Well, thank you so much. But donations run through accounting. I can show you the way if you like," Cuddy said, smiling congenially.

"No, no, a _sizable_ donation." Sophie let her purse drop from her shoulder into her hand as she took a few steps toward the desk.

"_How_ sizable?" Cuddy asked after a beat.

"About five or six hundred-thousand."

Cuddy's eyes widened. "Have a seat, Ms. Bening." Sophie smiled, setting her purse beside the chair as she settled into it.

"I'm afraid there's something in it for me, however," she said frankly, folding her hands in her lap.

Cuddy lay her pen on the blotter, restraining the urge to raise an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Yes. You see, my boyfriend was checked into your hospital this morning, a Mr. Nathan Baker?"

Cuddy's face smoothed over, perfectly concealing any emotion. "Ah, Dr. House's patient. I'm so sorry, but I'm afraid his attitude won't change because of money to the hospital."

Sophie chuckled. "But _your _attitude will change. It may sound cynical but money really does make the world go 'round and I'm aware a nice donation will make me suddenly important."

Cuddy pursed her lips but nodded. "I'm tempted to say how offended I am that you think we treat donor patients any differently but it's oddly refreshing to meet someone who can probably stand up to House."

---

"Do you think she called Maggie?" Parker asked, picking at the arm of her chair in the seating area outside Nate's room. Eliot glanced up at her from painstakingly texting Hardison to see where he was.

"Why would she call Maggie?"

"Because. She's Nate's ex-wife. Just because they're not in love with each other anymore doesn't mean she doesn't still care about him." Parker looked up at him, her eyes wide and uniquely innocent. "Don't you have her number in your phone?"

Eliot hesitated. "Well, yes, but it's only for emergencies." He shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

Parker sat forward. "_Eliot_. Nate could be dying for all we know. He could have the plague or something. It _is _an emergency."

He was tempted to tell her to she ought to be a glass half-full kind of girl, what with her optimism that ropes never break, but bit his tongue over the incredulous word 'plague.' "Fine," he growled, pulling his phone out of the front pocket of his sweatshirt. Scrolling through the numbers, he found Maggie's and hit send. The conversation was quick and to the point, obviously Parker had been right. He hung up, grumbling, "She's coming out; she'll be here this evening."

Parker made an 'I told you so' face. "I told you so."

Hardison finally joined them, and Sophie just after him, and the friends waited anxiously together. They each alternated pacing and rambling and avoiding the subject. Hours passed painfully with no word. Every now and then one of the doctors on Dr. House's team would come tell them absolutely nothing useful, simply because Cuddy was making them. By the time night fell, Hardison was playing some sort of game on his phone and Sophie was leaning against the wall, stopping every doctor that came near to ask when she could see her boyfriend. Parker was fast asleep with her head in Eliot's lap, his book balanced on her shoulder so he could read.


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Leverage or House, M.D. nor am I associated with Dean Devlin, David Shore, the cast of Leverage or the cast of House. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 2**

Maggie found them in almost the exact same positions the next morning when she arrived at the hospital. She bit her lip, glancing from sleeping thief to sleeping thief, not sure which of them she wanted to risk waking up. Thankfully, she was saved the trouble of choosing when Eliot peeked open blue eyes.

"Hey," he greeted her, groggy, running his fingers through his hair.

"Hey," Maggie answered quietly, shifting from one foot to the other.

Eliot gently pushed Parker off his lap, tucking a strand of blond hair behind her ear before standing and motioning for Maggie. "Come on. I'll fill you in," he whispered, one hand on her shoulder. Maggie nodded and he led her down the hall, out of earshot of the others.

"They haven't told us much yet. I don't think they've even _done _much yet. We've only been here through the night so," Eliot shrugged to finish the sentence, rubbing his neck.

"I don't understand. He just collapsed?" Maggie heaved a sigh at his nod. "And they don't know _anything_?"

Eliot reached out to touch her again but thought better of it, dropping his hand to his side and stuffing it in his pocket. "Listen. He's going to be fine. It's _Nate_. Parker just thought… you would want to know."

"Parker?" Maggie raised an eyebrow. "The… strange one?"

Laughing, Eliot nodded and looked to his feet. "Yeah. Yeah, that's Parker."

---

Thirteen leaned over Sophie, sitting against the wall, fast asleep. "Miss Bening? Miss Bening, wake up," she said quietly. Sophie's eyes opened and instantly she was on her feet.

"What is it? Did something happen? Is he all right?" she demanded, rapid-fire.

Thirteen shook her head. "No, no, everything is pretty much the same. But I do need to take a history. Can you help me with that?"

Sophie sighed but nodded. "Yes, of course. Um, actually, I… think Nate's ex-wife might be here by now, if you want further back."

"Already there." Cameron, Eliot and Maggie appeared around the corner and Cameron held up a clipboard. "If the two of you could join us in Dr. House's office, this won't take long."

Maggie and Sophie exchanged acknowledging glances and both nodded, following the two doctors down the hall. Hanging back, Maggie asked quietly, "What are the names?" Sophie whispered them inconspicuously and then they were at the office and both shutting up.

As they all sat down, Cameron cleared her throat. "Now. We've of course taken a personal history from Mr. Baker, but is there anything either of you can tell us he might not have that could be pertinent to his case?"

"Well he probably didn't mention the fact he's a drunk," Sophie offered, her voice entirely neutral as though it were hardly worth mentioning, all of which both women scratched down on their papers.

"Or Sam. He probably didn't mention Sam," Maggie sighed quietly. At Thirteen's questioning look, she glanced away. "Our son. He died two years ago. It was a… rare cancer, at least for his age. MEN syndrome."

"Which would explain the drunk," Thirteen observed. "I'm so sorry."

Maggie didn't quite have the words to say it was okay anymore and Sophie was never comfortable discussing Sam, at least not with anyone other than Nate, so they moved on as quickly as possible.

---

Hours passed in tense silence. They hardly exchanged words, let alone made conversation. Occasionally someone would bustle in and out of Nate's room, but for the most part, even the hallway was quiet and still.

They had been sitting there not talking for so long, each of them jumped when Dr. Foreman appeared, a sober look on his face as the others filtered into Nate's room with tubes and syringes. "We're running a test to be sure, but we believe Mr. Baker has what's known as MEN syndrome or multiple endocrine neoplastia," he said quietly, hands folded in front of him.

Maggie gasped. "MEN? Nate has MEN? But that's what-Sammy-that's-" She pressed a hand over her heart, sputtering.

Dr. Foreman nodded. "I know. Dr. Hadley told us about your son, which is one of the reasons we came to this diagnosis. MEN has been known to be hereditary," he explained, uncharacteristically. "It is also associated with pheochromocytoma, a tumor located in the adrenal gland, which is what the rest of the team is testing for. We'll let you know as soon as we know more ourselves." He disappeared again before any of them could ask questions, something they were all positive he did on purpose.

Parker was the first one to find her voice. "Nate has the same thing his son had?" she asked quietly, her voice weaker than usual. Eliot wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"He'll be okay," he assured her. "It's _Nate_." None of them quite believed that particular diagnosis: even cats run out of lives eventually.


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Leverage or House, M.D. nor am I associated with Dean Devlin, David Shore, the cast of Leverage or the cast of House. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 3**

Wilson's door slammed open with a bang. "What are they lying about?" House demanded, carrying a carton from the cafeteria with him. He sat down at Wilson's desk and opened it, eyeing his best friend.

"Who and why are you asking me?" Wilson stole a chip, signing some paperwork.

"My patient and his family and because there could be an affair involved. I only like to consult the experts," House quipped, biting into his sandwich.

Wilson rolled his eyes, unphased. "I thought he had a gorgeous girlfriend."

"He does. He also has an ex-wife that's not too bad herself."

Wilson finally looked up, vaguely intrigued. "All right. I'll bite."

Digging into his pocket, House pulled out a folded piece of paper along with the customary bottle of vicodin. He set his sandwich down and unfolded the paper, sliding it across the desk to Wilson. "What is this? A family tree?"

"No. It's all the people involved. This guy's got a whole band of friends out there. Either he's really popular or he's really not."

"Really not?"

"Okay, see look. There's his girlfriend and his ex-wife. But then there are three others out there: a short, burly guy, a blond chick and a black guy. They've been in the waiting area the whole time he's been here. The first guy could be a bodyguard; he looks pretty fit."

Wilson raised an eyebrow. "A bodyguard? What, have you got mafia here or something?"

House shrugged, sitting back with his Reuben. "I don't know. Maybe. Who needs bodyguards?"

"Politicians, but we'd know who he is. Actors, etc, but we'd know that too." Wilson read over the names on the sheet curiously. "Did you get his records and everything?"

"Yeah. A hospital in Portland under care of Dr. Russell Morgan." House shrugged again. "Nothing too extraordinary. He was in for some accidents but that's all. Guy's pretty accident-prone."

"You ever stop to think maybe they're not lying about anything?" Wilson asked, instantly regretting it.

"Everybody lies," House retorted predictably. "But this bunch… they lie well."

---

The sound of a flatline buzzed in Nate's head like a bad case of tinnitus. His own scream, a desperate cry of disbelief and horror, rang above him, a separate entity, something outside of himself. He burst through the doors toward his son, the same vision that haunted him in waking hours as well.

Sophie clutched his hand as he shuddered and moaned on the bed, beads of sweat rolling down his cheeks, matching the salty tears on her own. "Nate. You can't do this. You can't leave me. Not now." She leaned forward, brushing a stray curl out of his closed eyes, letting her fingers linger on his too-hot skin. "I love you, Nate. Don't leave me now," she murmured brokenly.

Maggie watched the scene through the glass, a lonely squeeze on her heart the only company she had. "Don't leave her, Nate. Not now," she whispered. "She loves you more than I ever could."

Parker punched the vending machine angrily when it spit out Doritos instead of Lays. She swore under her breath, kicking the thing just for good measure.

"Now just what did that vending machine ever do to you?" Eliot asked, coming up beside her and leaning against the wall.

Parker glared at him. "It was in the wrong place at the wrong time," she growled. "And spit out the _wrong _thing."

Eliot leaned over, pulling the lock-picking kit from her pocket and casually opening the door. "What was it that you wanted?" Parker stared at him for a moment but grinned and pointed.

He closed the door and set about fixing the lock when Dr. Hadley walked up, hands in the pockets of her coat. She narrowed her eyes as they both turned toward her, looking particularly normal. Shaking her head, she said, "Mr. Baker is awake. He asked to see all of you. You have five minutes."

Parker grabbed Eliot's hand, pulling him passed the brunette in a hurry. Thirteen shook her head again, glancing suspiciously once more at the vending machine.

Everyone looked up as the two crowded into Nate's room. "Hey," he rasped, raising one hand to them. "I want all of you out of here for the night. Go back to the hotel. Get some food."

They all groaned, reluctant to leave the hospital. "No buts," Nate said firmly.

Sophie sighed. "Fine. But one of us should stay. Just in case," she said, just as firmly.

"I'll stay. You all go," Maggie piped up, grateful for a few hours away from the tension. Sophie nodded in agreement, bending to kiss Nate's cheek. Slowly they all filtered out, only to be met by Dr. Cameron in the hallway.

"Miss Bening? Could I speak with you for a moment?" she asked. Sophie's brow knit with worry, but she nodded, stepping to the side with Cameron.

"What is it?" She spun the large ring on her finger anxiously.

"I'm afraid Mr. Baker tested positive for the pheochromocytoma tumor," Cameron murmured soberly.

Sophie sucked in a shaky breath, pressing a hand against her cheek. "Oh god," she muttered, feeling tears in her eyes.

"We're running a few other diagnostics before we begin treatment so you're all right to leave. Get some food, some sleep." Holding out a piece of paper, she added, "This is my personal extension if you need anything."

Sophie nodded her thanks, staring off into space as she processed the information. "He'll be fine, he'll be fine, he'll be fine…"


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Leverage or House, M.D. nor am I associated with Dean Devlin, David Shore, the cast of Leverage or the cast of House. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 4**

Eliot stabbed his chopsticks into a takeout carton of chow mein. "We should be at the hospital," he growled angrily.

"We're not going to accomplish anything there," Sophie protested calmly. "And we could all use sleep in an actual bed."

"But what if Nate needs something?" Hardison asked, nibbling on a wonton.

"If Nate needs something, Maggie is there." Everyone but Parker noticed Sophie's sneer. "And so are a whole hospital of nurses. Just because you've stitched Nate up doesn't mean you're a doctor, Eliot!" Parker popped to her feet, running out onto the balcony and slamming the glass door behind her.

Hardison and Sophie looked at Eliot with identical 'she's-your-problem' expressions. He stood with a sigh, following Parker's footsteps and closing the door quietly behind him.

"Hey." Eliot stuffed his hands in his pockets. "You okay?"

"_No_, Eliot. I'm not okay." Parker spun around, clutching the balcony railing behind her. "What if Nate dies? What if they can't save him and we lose Nate? We'll fall apart."

Eliot swallowed hard, stepping forward. "He'll be okay. These doctors are supposed to be the best of the best. You know Sophie wouldn't stand for it if they weren't."

"Well _we're _the best of the best and we screw up sometimes. Just because you're the best doesn't mean you're perfect." Parker crossed her arms, looking away.

Sighing, Eliot took his hands out of his pockets, reaching for her. He wrapped his arms around her, rubbing a hand over her back until she relaxed, resting her head on his shoulder. "We'll be okay," he murmured in her hair. "Nate can't leave us; can you imagine what Sophie would do to him if he died?"

Parker managed a laugh, though it wasn't actually funny.

---

"It's not pheochromocytoma." Thirteen tossed lab results on the table, drawing glances from his team members.

"I told you," Foreman gloated. "If you can't _see _a tumor, don't assume it's there." Thirteen kicked him tiredly under the table, sharing an annoyed look with Taub, but couldn't wipe that look off his face.

"All right. So what causes fainting, sweating, and- I'm sorry. I'm forgetting why this case is so interesting," House complained.

"And elevated levels of metanephrines. Which is why we thought it was a tumor in the first place. He tested _positive_," Cameron piped up as she came in.

"Why are you even here?" House spun his chair around, tapping his cane in the circle. "I fired you."

Cameron grabbed a dry-erase marker and added the words to the white board. "I quit. What falsely elevates metanephrines?"

"Oh no. She has a _personal connection_," House groaned with that mocking, soap opera tone.

"_Stress _can screw up that test; it could be one of any number of things. But we don't have anywhere to search to find out more." Each member of the team looked annoyed. Not only was nothing particularly interesting about this case but they couldn't understand why _House _was so interested.

"Sure we do. They have to be staying somewhere," House retorted. "And if a woman gives five-hundred thousand dollars to a hospital she's never been to before just to get priority for her boyfriend, she's not going to be staying at Best Western. They shouldn't be too difficult to find. Search Angela Bening and Nathan Baker at every five-star hotel in Princeton."

---

House was right: it didn't take long to find their hotel. Three rooms: one booked to Nate and Angela, one to Spencer Adams, one to Alice Parker, and one to Alex Harrison, all booked as a group. Foreman broke the lock on the door with Thirteen watching the elevators. He motioned to her and she darted down the hallway, shutting the door behind them.

The bed was made and the place was clean, a floral perfume hanging lightly in the air. The clothes in the dresser and closet were all expensive, well-made, some even tailored, especially the men's. Two suitcases were tucked in the back of the closet, empty except for one with several pieces of lingerie.

"Why would she keep her lingerie separate from the rest of their clothes?" Foreman asked, holding up the sheery, red fabric.

Thirteen shrugged. "Maybe they all hang out here and she didn't want their friends poking around in their sex life."

"No, no. It doesn't make sense." Foreman narrowed his eyes. "Check the bed. Does it look like it's been slept in on both sides?"

Slipping on a pair of gloves, Thirteen pulled back the covers and shrugged. "Yeah. It has. Two indentations. Definitely. The bed must not have been made by the housekeeper."

"House will like that contradiction: her lingerie is hidden but they're sleeping in the same bed." Foreman reached into the garbage can. "And he'll like this too. Maybe." Holding up a stack of empty vanilla ice cream cartons, he asked rhetorically, "What falsely elevates metanephrines?"

Thirteen sighed. "Vanilla."


	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Leverage or House, M.D. nor am I associated with Dean Devlin, David Shore, the cast of Leverage or the cast of House. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 5**

"So the guy likes vanilla ice cream. From Mexico," House observed, holding up the empty carton with 'Helado de Vainilla' written on the side. "What does that tell us about fainting and sweating? Which is still _really _not exciting."

"The ice cream just tells us what's _not _wrong with him," Taub protested. "I still firmly stand by my earlier conjecture: he has separation anxiety due to his son's death."

"And I still firmly stand by my argument: why now?" Thirteen demanded before leaning back in her chair and turning to House. "It could be hypertension."

"Or insulinoma," Foreman added, nodding.

"Go minions. Run tests. Do my bidding. Get me coffee and drugs," House ordered, waving his hands. The three stood, gathering their papers and clipboards with them as they trickled out of the office.

Thirteen returned first, discouraged. No hypertension. Foreman returned next, equally downtrodden. No insulinoma. Taub simply appeared a bit smug that his teammates had been wrong.

---

Sophie stood on House's private balcony off his office, one arm folded over her stomach, her elbow balanced against it with a cigarette dangling from her fingertips.

"You're not supposed to smoke those things on hospital grounds. Something about a health hazard," House reminded her, stepping up beside her, seemingly unphased by her presence.

She shook an orange bottle of vicodin, not bothering to look at him. "You're not supposed to do these either."

House checked his empty pockets before scowling and snatching it from her, popping one of the pills in his mouth before putting the bottle back where it belonged. "So you're a billionaire pickpocket?" Sophie only smirked.

"What are you lying about? It doesn't make sense. There is nothing wrong with this guy except he likes vanilla instead of chocolate. There is nothing wrong with him and he isn't lying about anything. So what is he doing here?" House demandingly rambled, leaning heavily on his cane.

"He's here because his fluid levels are fine but he appears dehydrated and because I paid $500,000 for you to do your job. And what would we be lying about?"

"Everybody lies about something."

"Everybody lies but we're not lying about anything important," Sophie assured him, taking a drag off her cigarette and turning to face him.

"Everybody _says _that," House countered.

"We're not as stupid as everybody."

"See, that? Right there? That's what I don't get. Who are you people?"

Sophie chuckled. "Who do you think we are?"

"I'm leaning towards Mafia," House admitted lightly.

"Baker? Bening? Adams? Parker? Harrison? Any of those sound Italian to you?" Sophie joked.

"Not all mobsters are Italian."

"Go ahead. Poke around. You won't find anything interesting. We're rather boring people." Sophie dropped her cigarette and put it out beneath the toe of her shoe. She walked to the door but paused, turning back to look at him. "But if you could do your job at the same time, it'd be much appreciated. And Nate's a very generous guy."

"Yeah, I'll bet he is." House reached for his cell phone and scrolled through the numbers, hitting send on one. "Lucas, I need you to look into some people for me."

---

"Spencer Adams is really Eliot Spencer. I'm waiting on all the information to come through but I thought you would want to see what I've got." Lucas flopped into the chair across from House as he picked up the file he'd been handed.

"You didn't find anything on Nate Baker?"

Lucas shook his head. "Or Angela Bening or any of the other names you gave me. All squeaky clean."

"I wonder why this one turned something up and nobody else did. What's he in the system for?" House closed the file; Lucas could give him more information anyway.

"That's what I'm waiting on. I think the alias is new and so it's not as protected as the others, if they are aliases." Lucas leaned forward, clasping his hands. "The phone pictures you sent me all turned something up though: a bunch of restricted files I couldn't get into."

"Restricted? By who?"

"It seemed to be connected to an insurance agency called IYS that is based out of Los Angeles but I couldn't be sure. The file was pretty well hidden," Lucas admitted. "I just hope I didn't set off any booby traps with my poking."

---

"How did this happen?" Eliot demanded angrily, pointing to Hardison's screen back at the hotel room.

"I don't know! I thought I had everybody's aliases totally encrypted but you get hits on you on every name I _give _you! You're a magnet for trouble," Hardison growled back, typing furiously to try and get rid of the information Lucas had dug up on Eliot before he got into it.

"Just fix it, Hardison," Sophie groaned, laying back on the bed and rubbing her eyes.

"You're the one that gave this _doctor _permission to look around in lives that don't exist," Parker accused from the door. "This lock has been jimmied. It's not a _good _job but it's professional."

"Ha! Eliot Spencer is officially tucked away again," Hardison spun around, a smug look on his face. "Who's da man?" Everybody turned away grumpily. "I feel very unappreciated around you people."

---

"Eliot Spencer is gone!" Lucas stormed into House's office, fuming.

"Did you try the waiting room? That hair is kind of hard to miss," House quipped.

"Not the _guy_. The _information_! I can't get to it now so I can't figure out who he really is!"

"I know you don't like that Lucas likes _me _but he's piqued my interest." Cuddy leaned with one hand on the door, one ankle crossed over the other. "I want to know who these people are, _yesterday_."

The team ran down the hallway, causing the three to turn towards the door as Thirteen stuck her head in around Cuddy, holding up her pager. "You wanted real symptoms? His liver is swelling."


	7. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Leverage or House, M.D. nor am I associated with Dean Devlin, David Shore, the cast of Leverage or the cast of House. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter 6**

"He's a drunk. It's cirrhosis," Thirteen grumbled.

"It's sepa-"

"Don't you dare say separation anxiety!" House practically shouted, shaking two pills into his hand, still frustrated by the pressure from Cuddy, the mystery of his patient and his family and the fact that his utterly boring case had just become more interesting. Taub scowled, sitting back in his chair. "Go! Go do a biopsy!"

They were all quiet until they got to the elevator. As the doors closed in front of them, Thirteen asked, "He seem snippier than usual?"

---

"Just relax. You're going to feel a sharp pinch. Let me know if it gets worse though," Foreman said, fitting the biopsy needle. Nate lay on his side, gritting his teeth. He had never had a problem with needles but Sam had had plenty of biopsies and just the very thought put him on edge. Foreman leaned over, carefully inserting the needle.

Outside, Maggie paced, Sophie paced and the others glared at them. "It's just a test. He's not going to implode during a test," Parker said, only to have the men's glares turned on her. "What?"

"I'm worried," Sophie admitted. "And not just about Nate." At Hardison's confused look, she explained, "That file. That you deleted. It concerns me."

Eliot looked away, embarrassed at whatever trouble he might have inadvertently caused.

---

"I got it." Foreman walked into the office with a grin. "He has liver damage."

"And that makes you happy?" House snarled.

"It's our diagnosis, so yeah."

House spun his chair around, tapping his cane against the desk. "Diagnosis?"

"Yep." Thirteen came in behind Foreman, folding her arms. "The vanilla ice cream from Mexico? Not exactly FDA-approved. I don't even know how he got it in the country."

Foreman picked up the explanation. "The ice cream contained traces of coumarin which caused the fainting, the sweating, at least part of his apparent depression _and… _the liver damage."

"Damn." Without a reason to keep the mysterious group around, he would never know who they were.

---

"Miss Bening?"

Sophie spun around. "Yes? What is it? Is he okay?"

Foreman nodded, smiling. "Yes. And he's going to be perfectly fine but I'm afraid Mr. Baker is going to have to give up that Mexican sundae habit."

Parker ran down the hallway, skidding around the corner, using it for balance. "Sterling's in the parking lot!" she hissed, barely even taking in the finally-happy expressions.

---

Foreman and Thirteen hadn't been out of the office five minutes when House's thoughts were again interrupted. "Dr. House?" A rather short, British man stood in the doorway with four or five black suits behind him.

"I knew they were Mafia."

"Jim Sterling with IYS Insurance. You recently hired a PI by the name of Lucas Douglas to investigate Eliot Spencer?" The man stepped inside, ignoring House's quip.

"Cuddy sent you, right?"

"She directed us to the office. Your PI's investigation sent me. Eliot Spencer is a wanted criminal; he wouldn't happen to be a patient of yours, would he?" Sterling tapped his fingers on the edge of House's desk, leveling him with a straight stare.

"No, but he's family of a patient of mine, Nathan Baker." Something about this guy told even House not to poke too hard; something a bit too Tritter-like.

Sterling rolled his eyes. "Nathan B- That bastard. What the hell does he have?"

"Ice cream poisoning, basically. He's being treated as we speak; he'll be released tomorrow. Why? Who is he?" Maybe he would get his answers after all.

"He's a thief. One hell of a thief."

And, yet, because of an elevator 'malfunction', by the time Sterling's men made it down to the right floor, Nathan Baker, Angela Bening, Spencer Adams, Alice Parker, Alex Harrison and Maggie Collins were long gone, taking with them more than enough clonidine to treat the coumarin poisoning.

---

Sophie sat in the back seat with Nate, reading the back of one of the orange bottles. "This stuff treats alcohol withdrawal too."

"Don't start with me, Sophie," Nate growled, still grumpy that he had to give up his favorite ice cream. Sophie scooted closer and leaned against him, putting her feet up on the seat. "You should wear a seatbelt."

She ignored him but slid to the side, tilting her head so she could see him. "I'm glad you're okay," she murmured. Lightly tracing the lines in his face with a finger, she added, "I think I might miss Angela Bening. She was kind of fun. Or she would have been if she hadn't been so worried all the time."

"You just liked being officially attached to Nate," Parker began from her spot in the front, squished between Eliot and Hardison, before a hand was clamped over her mouth.

Nate chuckled, rubbing his thumb over Sophie's waist. "I liked her too. She had nice lingerie."

Sophie's brow knit before it hit her and her eyes widened. "But-"

"You don't honestly think you can hide something like that in a suitcase, do you, Sophie? Besides, if you hadn't hoped I'd find it, it wouldn't have been there."

The window between the front and back seat slid up before the three in front could hear _any _more. Eliot slipped his arm around Parker's shoulders. "See? I told you he would be okay." She nestled against him, nodding.

"And he's going to be a whole lot happier, too," Hardison joked, jerking a thumb at the back. Parker only giggled, leaning up to kiss Eliot's cheek, earning herself a smile. "And I'm only going to get a whole lot more uncomfortable," he tacked on, shuddering.

---

Each member of House's team was questioned individually. None of them knew anything. So Sterling personally sat down with House himself, prepared to do battle.

"Why did you take this case?"

"Cameron asked me to. And everybody knows I do everything Cameron asks me to, at least according to her. I wonder how her boyfriend feels about that."

"Why did you have Mr. Douglas look into your patient and his family?"

"They intrigued me. Good liars."

"You knew they were lying then?"

"About something. Everybody lies."


End file.
